After my first experience with ABA, I've had REALLY SEVERE depression. Sometimes, I just stay in bed, not moving. And cry. A lot.
I explained what suicidal meltdowns look like. But what I didn't tell you is THERE ARE SEASONS WHERE I HAVE THEM EVERYDAY.
Is hard knowinf your depression is so advanced...That you don't think you'll get over it. And knowing your life can't end up suicidally...
Days in bed, without moving...Dreaming of the day when i'll stop suffering...BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT, BUT, FOR PERSONAL REASONS, IT IS HARD RIGHT NOW.
I've learned to get through...
1: I've done a bucket list, which includes: See snow, do a sign language conversation (my counbtry's), learn to surf or skate, wear a vintage dress (already done), and many other things.
2.- I've created a group of people willing to help me when they can... An aid net, I suppose.
3.- I've found stims (already talked about them) in little things, like acting out choreographies from musicals, bathing in my pool, eating dessert, listening to music, etc.
4.- This page also keeps me going.
Thanks for helping through the pain. YOU ARE TRUE HEROES.
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